Phoot Thai Mai Dai... Mai Kao Chai! Mai Kao Chai!

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I'm back!!!

The trip to Thailand with the Scouts was good fun and really interesting. It was my first time going on a trip with the troop and had the opportunity to mingle with the local Scout troop... Haha... Really memorable.

And especially since there were only Jax, Jiayang and myself, it was kei yan all the way. And Jax... I've got no comments, go and ask Jiayang and he'll tell you the same... Let's just say that he is THE tourist...

Rayong & Pattaya

We were welcomed by a warm reception at the Bangkok International Airport (Can you believe that they actually have a golf course right next to the airport runway? What were they thinking?) by the teachers and scouts from Rayongwittayakom School, a government school in Rayong that does frequent exchange programmes with Dunman High. It was quite cool because we were in uniform and they would put a garland of flowers over our heads once we were close enough, you know, like during the elections when the PAP candidates emerged victorious and move on stage.

The first stop was at a fruits orchard in Rayong. It was paradise... There were rambutans, durians, mangoesteens, mangos, drangon fruits and even grapes! We were allowed to endulge in this wide variety of fruity pleasures while we took a ride within the orchard on a tram... It was something like a safari, without the animals. For the first time in my life, I saw what a dragon fruit plant looks like... An overgrown cactus... Lol. We even stopped to pick rambutans off from the trees with this pole-cutter adapted particularly for clipping the rambutan stalks way up amongst the branches. We also had this fruit buffet where we could eat any amount we wanted. And there was also the durian... Goodness, thank God nobody fell ill after the first day.

After that, we proceeded to the School where we were welcomed once again with warm arms. The Thais are really nice people. So warm and friendly. Heh... We had some fun and games before we began the exchange frenzy where we exchanged scarves, woggles and badges with one another... Too bad for Jax and Jiayang... Haha... They had to give up their embroided scarves under sheer pressure *sucks thumb* And then there was this girl... Well, she kept wanting to take a photograph with me and being the shy person that I am, I agreed with some hesitation. She is not that bad looking though... And I should have gotten to know her better... Damn... Don't be jealous ok dear? I still love you lots! And thanks to Jax and Jiayang, I also managed to get a photo with her... Haha...

There was much reluctance to leave since everybody had so much fun and the presence of the universal bond that the Scout brotherhood (& sisterhood) shares with one another was overwhelming (and there was also the Rayong girl :P). But all good things have to come to an end and we left for Pattaya for our first night's stay.

Pattaya has a very seedy feel that is unsettling... Perhaps that's jumping to conclusions just after a very brief exploration at night. But it's kinda sad to see towering ang mohs with belly sizes that could rival a whale's holding the hands of petite skimpily-clad locals, trying to create a false impression of 'love'. You'll never imagine 'love' can be so cheap... Anyway, we didn't stay out too late because Jax was worried about the many 'Boyfriend' bars we saw along the way and he was not exactly dressed for the occassion... To put it simply, he could run a marathon in what he was wearing and that may draw unwanted attention.

Erawan Waterfall

Our next destination was the Erawan Waterfall located in Kanchanburi province and is a whopping 5-hour drive away from Pattaya. Good thing the coach was comfortable although the air-conditioning was a bit too mild. Or maybe Thailand is just too bright and shiny. I was perspiring through my pants, literally! The place is very much like Mount Ophir except that it's easier to climb and the tiers are much more beautiful... We didn't climb to the top because it was out of bounds but more importantly, the highest tier, the 7th, had this amazing waterfall that spanned the sky. And the water was great! Cool and absoultely refreshing in the freakin'ly hot weather. We had a great time soaking in the cool water and allowing the splashing crashes of water massage our tired bodies. And we also started a Tommy Rover competition (Jax was the first to slip on the slippery rocks and got stung by a weird insect, Jiayang sprained his thumb due to a fall and I whacked my toe into a rock and moss went under my toe nail... Ouch).

River Kwai Jungle Rafts

After that and for the next 2 days, we spent our time at the River Kwai Jungle Rafts floating chalet right on top of the River Kwai. It was a great place, a paradise hidden away from the hectic routines of civilisation, a bastion of the Mon culture where the traditions, arts and culture are preserved in their original form and a God-forsaken pit with thousands of irritating insects and no electtricity... Heh... There really wasn't any electricity and we used kerosene and hurricane lamps in the night and rattan fans to cool ourselves. But it was really cool to be floating on the currents. Just imagine... Lying on a hammock, gently swaying in the wind and hearing the subtle gushes of the river current as you stare into a star-filled night sky, attempting to fathom the vastness of the universe and thinking about how fragile life can be... It is wonderful.

The people at the Jungle Rafts were also very nice and they sure can cook well too! Every meal was satisfying and on the 2nd night, they even fried some insects for us to try! It just so happened that after a storm in the day, the area was filled with the flying ants that get very attracted to light and these insects were interrupting our dinner. So they placed a tray of water next to couple of hurricane lamps and the bugs just started crashing into one another near the light and fall into the water, never to come out again. I don't have to tell you what were their pitiful fates... But they sure tasted good (after much seasoning that is).

Over the next 2 days, we did some activities like night-trekking, visiting the Mon village, learning Thai cooking, Mon dancing and handicrafts but the more interersting activities were elephant riding, body floating and soccer with the locals.

Ah Lek.

That was the name of one of the gigantic beasts that resided in the Mon village. The elephants were tamed but still demanded respect and awe with their sheer presence. It also costs 400 Baht to ride one of them. It was really different riding an elephant since for one thing, you are very much higher above the ground and can see further across into the horizon. Jiayang and I shared one elephant (there was a seat secured to the elephant) while Jax had one all to himself. It's interesting that you can feel the elephant lumbering in its steps from side to side so you don't actually feel very safe but somehow, you'll convince yourself otherwise... It's quite a long drop down.

Then there was also body floating that we did after doing some community service in a nearby school upriver (planted trees and gave out sweets, toys and books... The children looked quite stunned but then again, maybe it's just us). It was, in essence, letting the current of the river push us along back to the floating chalet. The current was really strong, especially at the meanders and there were times that we had to fight against the current. That was no joke man... And depsite this, Jax still had to cling on to a piece of floating bamboo and bring it along for the ride. Well, it was in the end abandoned when we neared the chalet or we risked the prospect of floating all the way into Myanmar. The most tiring portion of the actvitity was right next to the chalet when we gave our final burst of energy and tried to catch a hold of the floating platforms while the current continued to drag us away. It was like in an action film where the star holds on to a moving train while his body dangles in mid-air, without all the water of course... It was pure good fun and we were absolutely shagadooded.

And there was also our soccer game with the Mon locals... The final score was 13-1 and that was after they bang zhui. Well, I've got nothing much to say other than the opponent strikers were all barefoot 7-year-olds. Well, nobody can really expect too much from us since being in a secluded village with no other forms of electrical entertainment, they have probably been kicking the ball since they were 3 or something for every single day. Tell them to compete with our boys in DOTA and we'll see who does the thrashing. Lol...

Apart from that, it was really boring and there was nothing much to do. In a way, it is as if we were short-changed for the trip. Anyway, because of that, we began to do some stupid things like filming many kei yan videos and taking many weird photos. I even almost finished the Zahir (A very nice book by the way)! We also spent every night at the Jungle Bar, trying out different cocktails and talking cock. But all in all, we had a very relaxing time at the chalet and we now know and appreciate the importance of electricity. Heh...

Bangkok

Woohoo!!! Hello civilisation! We left for Bangkok after our stay on the River Kwai and we visited the Death Railway enroute. It was a nostalgic personal experience since I visited the exact same location about a year and a half ago during the educational tour of my army training at Sai Yok. It's quite heartening to know that some things have not changed and memories are not detached from current reality. Anyway, it was at that place that we finally took a group photo with our tour guides, the nice Chinese speaking local who majors in Religion (Damn... we don't know his name) and Ah Best, the English speaking local who got into university because of his soccer skills (and he says he's Thailand's most handsome).

It was off to Bangkok from then on and after a long ride, we arrived at the Madarin Hotel which was not far away from the main shopping area in Bangkok. We went to the MBK Centre, a huge shopping complex (a mix of Suntec City and Far East Plaza) for dinner and some night shopping. Have I mentioned that food in Thailand is absoultely dirt cheap? Well, if I haven't, now you know and remember that. 285 Baht (~S$12) at a food court can get you a bowl of Seafood Tom Yum Soup, a plate of mussel omelette, a plate of pork knuckle rice, a plate of fried chicken rice, a plate of mixed vegetable and meat rice and 3 bottles of green tea. And all the food was restaurant standard! Amazing... We also endulged ourselves in a gigantic double scoop of Baskin Robbins ice cream later that night. You know, it sometimes baffles me why those working at ice cream parlours are always cheerful and bubbly young girls. I mean, even in Singapore, at the various Ben and Jerry's outlets, this uncanny fact remains true. Must be the ice cream...

Anyway, it began to pour and there was no way of walking back to the hotel, so we decided to take the train. All 32 of us... It was quite a cool experience but again, for those who are going to Thailand in the near future, it is actually cheaper to take a taxi in a group (there is the jam though). As it was the last night in Thailand, Jax, Jiayang and I decided to once again drink away our sorrows at the hotel bar. Heh... Jax had a Bloody Mary that tasted, well, damn bloody, to a point where you'll never want to touch tomato juice for the next few months...Jiayang had his Tom Collins and I had my Long Island Iced Tea... And there was a live band! Great times man... Great times...

The next morning was a curse covered in a blessing... We met this very helpful guy called Som, who happened to be on holiday in Bangkok (he works in the hotel line in Phuket) and seeing that we were tourists, he decided to help us and recommended us to take a boat cruise on the Chao Phraya River and its many canals since we could see a floating market, a snake farm and a couple of temples along the way. So, deciding that such a nice person won't do us much harm, we went to the Peninsula Pier and took the tour (600 Baht each!!!). To our utter amazement and disbelief, the floating market turned out to be a single boat, the snake farm had an entrance fee of 150 Baht and the journey took us 2 hours... By the time boat operator wanted to take us to the Temple of Dawn, we declined because we were out of time and out of breath. And to think that we were actually so bored that we slept part of the journey. However, we did witness the slumps of Bangkok and understood slightly how the city Thais experience their daily livelihood. But then... 600 Baht... AARRGGHH!!!

We went to the Big C Supercentre after that, which is their local version of Carrefour, to shop for some local products that we could take home. Like the pork floss rice crackers... Mmmm... Delicious. After that, we chanced upon this shopping arcade, like the one at Meridian Shopping Centre (along the start of Orchard Road, near PS), and got lost among the labyrinth of tourist-targeted stalls. And we also visited the famous Erawan (the 4-faced Buddha) Shrine, which was also within the locality.

We decided to take a taxi back to the hotel since the time to leave for the airport was drawing close. There was some communication problem since the taxi driver could not speak English. The conversation went like this:

Ding : Uncle, Mandarin Hotel.

Taxi Driver : Man-da-rin? Silom?

Ding : Ya... Silom...

Well, after a few jams and some uncertainty, the taxi driver pulled over beside a police officer and asked for directions.

Taxi Driver : Man-da-rin... Samyan... no Silom...

Ding : Oh... Ya... Samyan...

Jax : Orh... Ding... *accusingly*

Jiayang : Zzzz...

Well, I got mixed up with the station names since the previous night's adventure on the train tracks. Thank goodness the 2 places were not far away... Anyway, Jax, who was sitting in front, decided to brush up his Thai with the taxi driver (he has this map pamphlet that introduces a few Thai phrases) while Jiayang and I concussed in the backseat. After that, we were on our way to the airport.

That more or less concludes our (mis)adventures in Thailand and I really don't mind going back one day. A nice place with nice people... Not to mention pretty. As Jiayang had commented, there's a reason why the ang mohs come to Bangkok and not Singapore... Heh...

Anyway... What the title means is:

"Can't speak Thai... I don't know! I don't know!"